Today’s the 1 year anniversary of me coming out to my friends at school. I remember it well - I’d told a close friend of mine, then my family, then debated for a few weeks about whether I wanted to come out to everyone or not. And then, after realizing that the school as a whole liked me too much to care whether or not I was gay, I told another one of my friends (who, as predicted, spread the news like wildfire to everyone else that night). I never came out on my blog, though - it even took me a few months before I mentioned it there.

This trip to past really got me thinking about all the records computers hold of our pasts. The first place I looked was iTunes, and the Last Played tag on each song. Sorting by date, I went back and saw a bunch of songs that I played on September 22nd, 2006: “Show Me” (DJ Encore), the Monk theme song, “Welcome to Paradise” (Green Day). It’s weird to think that, the last time I played those songs, almost no one knew that I was gay. Fast forward to today, where most of my teachers know (either through essays or, surprise surprise, this blog). The last time I heard those songs, I was a different person living in a different world.

I actually went through my entire song collection, sorted by the last time I’d listened to each song. Kind of like traveling back in time, to some extent… I found myself remembering events and important dates throughout the past few years, all reflected in what music I decided to listen to on that day. Then I moved on to my Gmail account, and relived my life again vicariously through email headers. I even dropped in on a few emails and read the first few exchanges of words between myself and people I now consider to be good friends. That one page of 50 archived emails Gmail gives you really is a snapshot of the past…

Unfortunately, sometimes reliving the past simply makes you regret it…